Friday, August 10, 2012

Think Again Before You Offer Judgment

I couldn't decide what I wanted to write about today. Two topics are in the forefront of my mind. One where I ask the Judgey McJudgerson's to kindly back away and come back another day, so I can tell my tale. Or the other one where I talk to them personally.

I'm opting for the latter. This post is for those who judge. Nay, since judging is human, this is for those who feel compelled to voice their judgment.

As my loyal readers know, Alice has recently challenged me as a parent concerning her pink medicine. We (Hatta and I) have received various forms of criticism from friends and family on our parenting skills, or lack there of, because we couldn't make our daughter take her medicine. I have a few things that I would like to get off my chest.

How dare you criticize my parenting! I'm a damn good mom and I know my daughter and what is best for her. I know her temperament. I have learned her strengths. I was the one that learned her needy cues when she was a newborn. I was the one that learned the exact floor board to stand and bounce on that gave just the right amount of give and squeak to calm her insistent crying. I learned to read her face to know just how much stranger anxiety she could handle before I had to intervene. It's been my job for over four years to keep my daughter happy and safe and now you're going to tell me how to do my job. I DON'T THINK SO!!

I don't care one iota how your father used to parent you. I don't give a flying fuck what you used to do when your kids were little! All I care about is my daughter and her physical and mental well being.

Do you think we didn't try to force Alice to take her medicine? What do you think we said, "Hey Alice, if it wouldn't be too much trouble do you think you could possibly, maybe take your medicine honey baby?" Of course when our attempts at reason didn't do the trick we tried what worked in the past when she was little. I'm not sure what amount of power and force you are okay using on a 35lb child, but my goal as a mom is not to teach Alice that I am bigger and stronger than her. I do not enjoy using my body against hers. So when after several attempts at forcing medicine down her throat didn't work, I stopped trying.

Funny thing, when I called the pediatrician, who by the way has been in countless medical publications and has won numerous awards, he never once suggested I hold Alice down and use force to get her to take her medicine. No. That wasn't what he said at all. Instead, he, the medical expert on children, suggested something else entirely. Something more civil.

So the next time you feel like offering your opinions on how I should raise my daughter, I suggest you just don't. Find something else to do with your time that you actually know something about. Cause, trust me, you don't have a clue about how best to parent my daughter.

7 comments:

  1. Standing and applauding. YOU are the mom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hell ya I am! I'm proud of myself for actually writing it, for standing up for what I believe, for what's right.

      Delete
  2. Just started reading your blog and catching up a bit. Good for you for doing what you know is best for your little girl! My mother-in-law is one of those overbearing, critical people, so I get a lot of the same criticisms. Trying not to let it get to you is easier said than done.

    And I totally get the pink medicine thing. My oldest had the same stuff several months ago and the first day she loved it, the second she threw a huge fit and spit it everywhere, and then on the third day she sucked it down like the previous day's events had never happened. Using a syringe instead of a cup is what ended up working for us, but who knows if it'll still work if she ever needs the stuff again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The same trick never seems to work two times in a row. Kds are all about curve balls I'm learning.

      Delete
  3. Good for you! I'm so glad you stood up for yourself!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the best, I stood up for myself in real life too! Not just in blog-land.

      Delete
    2. Double proud of you! Now can you teach me how to do it? I started to stand up for myself yesterday, but ended up backing down and crying in a very crowded parking lot for about 20 minutes. Fair security even came to check on me...

      Delete