Sunday, August 26, 2012


The time has come. You may recall a few posts ago where I couldn't decide what to write about. Today, I feel it's appropriate to tell the other story.

For a moment I would like to address the Judgey McJudgerson's. Hi. If you don't mind, today's post isn't for you. If you regard yourself as a perfect parent, a super mom perhaps, may I kindly ask you to visit my older posts or another blogger entirely. Just for today. I'm sure tomorrow's post will be much more appropriate. I will welcome you back with open arms. See, today's topic is a bit personal. You understand, right?

I've been hesitant to write this post. As a parent, teaching your child to sleep is one of your first tasks. And many would say I've failed. At this very moment, Alice is fast asleep in my bed. This morning she woke up in my bed. The night before, my bed. The night before the night before, my bed. Sensing the pattern? I will stand sorta-kinda proudly and say, "My four year old sleeps in my bed."

Now that that's over, let me start at the beginning. As a newborn, Alice couldn't sleep alone. I tried night after night, nap after nap. It just didn't happen. She would either wake as soon as you laid her down or within a short period of time. She'd sleep fine in your arms or snuggled next to you. Anything else was not acceptable to her and, sadly, I was not a proponent of the cry it out method. I tried and tried, at Hatta's persistence, to transition her to the co-sleeper every night after she woke for a middle of the night feeding. Until that one night when I didn't. Snuggled next to me in bed, I latched on a hungry Alice and my exhausted postpartum eyes closed and remained closed. When I woke up several hours later, it was a total hallelujah moment. Finally, her and I both slept peacefully. Out of sheer desperation, I was hooked. Hatta, not so much. I did research, forwarded pages for him to read, tried my best to convince him if we co-slept smartly it was going to be okay. And it was.

Fast forward four years. Up until now, Alice hasn't slept in my bed consistently since the newborn phase. She transitioned to her crib for a period of time, then into the toddler bed. However, sleep has always been a struggle for Alice. I've googled, read books, and followed fellow mom's advice. Nothing seemed to work. Try as I might, I've rarely been able to convince Alice to spend an entire night in her bed. She'd fall asleep in her bed and when she woke at 3 or 4am 5 or 6am she'd toddle into my bed. This worked for Hatta and I. It seemed the lesser of the evils.

Until the damn bug entered the picture. About six weeks ago, during nap time, a fly entered Alice's room. It's not hard, there's a skylight in her room and she still doesn't have a door. Flys can come and go as they please. But, see, Alice has a bug phobia (that I promise I will post about soon. Any day. It's coming.) A harmless house fly or fruit fly is anything but simple to her. It's devastating and all, "Mama! Mama! A bug in my room! Eeeeee!! Hurry! MAMA! OH...EEE...MAAAAMA!" Ever since, she won't sleep in her room. The fly is long gone. Died of natural causes by now and, yet, she's still terrified to be alone at bedtime in her room. She tells everyone about the bug. I've given up. I willingly let her start out in my bed every night now.

Ah, but there's an end in sight. School starts soon. Have I mentioned preschool starts soon and I'm really, super, uber excited? Oh. Right. I've mentioned that. Anyway, school starts soon and guess who goes to preschool. Big girls, that's who! And guess what big girls do. Sleep in big girl beds! You see where I'm going with this? Yep. I've had the talk with Alice about school and big girls and sleeping in their own mother effing beds...maybe not in those exact words. Now, not only is Alice petrified of bugs, but she's dreading school, too. I foresee a few rough nights coming up in my future. Can't wait!

The courage for this post where I out myself for allowing my four year to sleep in my bed has been brought to you by The Honest Toddler. I realize I'm not alone in the big bed saga. Thank you.


  1. I can promise you that a lot more people co-sleep than will ever admit it. You do what is best for your family, screw what other people thing.

  2. Well, I wanted to offer Encouragement... but as a Custodial Grandparent who still has our soon to be 7 year old still needing to fall asleep in our bed... and wander in thruout the Night and cuddle in between Grandpa and I... well, who am I to give you Hope?! *Winks* But at least you gave me a good Laugh and I needed that. BTW: Half of the Grandkids we're not raising live in Mexico, where co-sleeping is quite the norm and Gramma Maria doesn't mind it one bit when the trio of G-Kids want to climb in and share the communal bed. So I agree with DeBie Hive, do what is best for you and your precious one and screw what other people may be thinking or doing... I'm sure they've all got their own Issues anyways. *Winks*

    Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

    1. Thanks for your story. It's nice to know I'm not alone in the sleep battle.

  3. There is nothing wrong with sharing your bed with your child. Within reason, of course. I might start to judge you when Alice heads off to college with mommy in tow and sets up an extra wide bed in her dorm. Until then, you're good.

    There are Judgey McJudgersons out there who are going to give you hell about pretty much anything you do. The thing they need to ask themselves is: Are they in the exact same situation with the exact same child as you? Unless Hatta is the Judgey,they should probably just back off.

    1. So you're telling me I have until college to sort this out? *breathing a sigh of relief*

  4. I'm here to tell you that it happens more often that you think but, for some reason, it's every mom's dirty little secret. I have just the post for you:

    I feel your pain sister, but the end is in sight. Trust me, I speak from experience. And you will totally work it out before college. ;)