I'm a shitty hostess. I try hard, but when it's all said and done I'm just not cut out for the job. Some people, the Martha Stewart types, live for opportunities to show off their skills. My goal is just to make it through.
I have had overnight house guests for three weekends in a row. Frankly, I'm sick of it. See? That's the kind of statement that would never escape the lips of the hostess with the mostest. I've always suspected I'm a lousy host. Today I confirmed my suspicions.
My brother inlaw and his friend, let's call her Sally, arrived late last night from New York City. This morning I tried my damnedest to be a kick ass host. They were only going to be here for an hour and a half before they had to leave for an all day music concert at a nearby venue. I had ninety minutes to shine. I laid out fresh towels. I baked cinnamon buns. I brewed coffee. I even hand delivered them to Sally while she played with Alice. I was on a roll! When it was time for the duo to leave, I even gave Sally a travel mug for her coffee and sent them on their way. The entire day has now passed and it just occured to me, I served Sally her coffee black...the way I like it. I never offered milk or sugar. It never even crossed my mind. The poor girl, not wanting to trouble me I'm sure, never said a word. I have a very nice handmade sugar bowl and creamer pitcher. The pitcher I use as a vase and I gave the sugar bowl to Alice for her play kitchen. I can't even manage to serve proper coffee.
If this incident was a one time deal, I could forgive myself. But, my friends, it's not. I don't offer my guests a glass of water, even when I myself am drinking one. Most normal people ask, "Can I get you anything? Iced tea? Water?" Not me. It doesn't even enter my brain that my friends may be parched.
I think the saddest thing is that I front like I'm a decent hostess. If you come for Easter breakfast I'll have a kick ass fruit salad, fresh baked croissants, muffins, and mimosas. But if you come for a play date, it's fend for yourself. Don't expect me to offer you anything.
LOL! I can totally sympathise with you. I'm a bad hostess too, but in my case it's a lack of materials rather than forgetting. I know I should offer them a coffee, but it never occurred to me to actually BUY coffee seeing as I don't drink it. Nine times out of ten my guests have to put up with Diet Coke, my drink of choice.
ReplyDeleteThat's me with condiments. I forget that normal people enjoy ketchup and mustard at cookouts. I don't. Neither does Hatta. Don't come to my house for a good burger.
DeleteI've been known to offer guests a cup of tea or coffee, get distracted while it's being prepared and just never give it to them. That's got to be worse than forgetting milk and sugar (and if she really needed them, I'm sure she would have asked. If not you, then your BIL.)
ReplyDeleteAs for the fronting, Easter breakfast is a celebration type thing. You're supposed to give food to the people you invite. Play dates are for the kids to play. There are no rules about food.
Offering coffee and never following through, definitely worse. Sorry. But thanks for making me feel adequate.
DeleteOh, it's fine. I look at it this way...if I like you enough to let you in my house, then you should be comfortable enough to ask for a drink. Period.
ReplyDeleteI'm fond of the blanket, help yourself to anything in the kitchen, statement. It covers all the bases.
DeleteI'm horrible about this. Glad I'm not the only one who isn't a natural Martha.
ReplyDeleteI tend to over do it and no one appreciates it which I'm fairly certain is worse because there's a lot of unappreciated work involved in that. I mean seriously, you can't say "I love your napkin rings" just once? Just once!
ReplyDeleteDamn it! I totally forgot we have napkin rings! They're just sitting in the hutch, still wrapped up from when we received them as a wedding gift six years ago. At least you remember your napkin rings.
Delete