Monday, October 8, 2012

Have You Seen My (fill in the blank)

There's a person in my life that loses everything. I won't mention any names. I've already had to join the blogger protection program once before, not looking to do it again.

I don't even know how it's possible to lose some of the shit that disappears. Take for example a winter coat. How in world does a grown person lose a winter coat in your own home? It's only been a handful of months since it was last needed. Yet, it happened. How about a cell phone charger for the brand new iPhone 5? Mine hasn't even been delivered yet and somehow, in a matter of days, this person lost theirs. I could go on and on and on and on...sunglasses, debit cards, keys, concert tickets, shoes, et cetera, et cetera.

I tell you fine readers this saga because it amuses me. It didn't always. It used to drive me batty. Worse than batty. Wars have been fought over this shit. But somewhere in the last few years, I let it go. I realized it wasn't my belongings that were being lost (most of the time,) so I got over it and started laughing more.

I'm not a vindictive bitch, I've tried helping this person rectify the problem. I've put into place systems, a place for everything, everything in its place. Except no matter how I suggest, prompt, or bitch nag things don't end up in their place. And then they disappear. Maybe I'm blaming the wrong person. Possibly, and I'm going out on a limb here, these items all get up and walk away. It's some kind of sick trick they're playing. I dunno. All I know is the misfortune of one is entertainment to another. I am allowed that privilege as compensation for putting up with it for so many years. Retribution, if you will.

I had a good laugh this morning. Remember that iPhone charger? Well, apparently the replacement that was purchased just yesterday, turned up missing. It was only MIA for a few moments, but for those moments I was peeing my pants laughing, in my head of course.


  1. I'm really good at losing things. I lose my mind on a daily basis. This morning (and by no means for the first time) I lost my phone. I only have a cell phone, there's no landline hook up in the guest apartment that I live in. I had 10 minutes to go before I had to report for work and I knew I needed it. Despite the fact that I'm at the house pretty much all day with the mom, she and I communicate primarily via text message. I NEEDED my phone. So in a desperate attempt to find it, I dialed my number and tried to hear the damned thing ring. Again, I only have a cell phone...Not the first time I've done this...

  2. You really don't need to go into the blogger protection program again. Laugh away....laugh, I say! Sometimes I think they'd lose their heads if they weren't attached.

  3. I'm a bit like that. I actually lost a skirt once. A skirt! How do you even do that? Surely you'd realise you were half naked as you wereon your way home! But I somehow managed it.

  4. LOL. I'm hoping that iphone 5 was found!

    I momentarily lose things all the time. But usually I find the thing moments after freaking out. =)