For the Love of a Good Book

I always thought I had fantastic followers. I've even bragged a time or two.

Then I go and ask you guys for a favor, a simple request. I needed YouTube help. But did you come to my rescue? No. Write about Alice and her love of bacon and you folks come running out of the woodwork to comment. I guess YouTube is just asking too much. I blame you, and you, but not you cause you did suggest that one video.

I received several responses to the affect of I don't really watch YouTube, don't have the time for it. Well my friends, let me share some facts straight from YouTube's site that make your claim a little shakey.

• Each minute over 700 YouTube videos are shared on twitter
• 500 years of YouTube videos are watched every day on Facebook
• 72 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute
• In 2011, YouTube had more than 1 trillion views or around 140 views from every person on Earth

Suffice it to say, I'm not buying your story. I find it hard to believe you are all just like me, lord help the world if you are. I don't think the cosmos could handle another Nelly. I doubt you delete those YouTube forwards your best friend sends you. You likely click the link when the 140 characters catches your attention. And I'm sure you watched the pig saving the goat once it went viral.

My loyal readers you've left me no choice. You put me in a place I didn't want to be. I have been forced to read my book. It topped the New York Times Best Seller list 5 weeks in a row. It's sold over 1 million copies in the US alone. And yet, I am struggling to get into it. It's not one of those books that finds me in bed at one in the morning fully engrossed, still reading. I can't blame the mound of laundry on my good book. But I think it's on the upswing, page 96 and I'm hearing more mentions of Amy Poehler and Saturday Night Live.

Yes, my book is Tina Fey's, Bossypants. It was on my Christmas list in 2011 and I was quite pleased when my Mother In-law bought it for me. It's sat on the book shelf for, jeesh, 9 whole months begging me to read it. I always had fancied up porn other books that were on my must read list. Finally with the end of 2012 creeping up on me and my faithful followers being of no help in my efforts to procrastinate, I'm going to finish my book.

Want a chance to redeem yourself? I'll need a new book soon enough. This time I want something good. Something so good it's obvious when you walk in my house and see the mayhem, I've been at the mercy of an enthralling read. I'm open to anything, kids hunting down kids, glorified porn, or maybe even something vampirey...it seems to be all the rage and I am in the dark.

Possible Erotic Fiction Junkie

I don't want to alarm you, but maybe, just possibly I might have a problem. It's still too early to be sure.

I downloaded another erotic fiction novel, Bared to You by Sylvia Day.

After reading the Fifty Shades trilogy, my introduction to the genre, I attempted a grown up, semi intellectual book. Maybe you'll remember my reaction when my husband read said book.

And another tweet a few days later.

I'm guessing that's where I went wrong. If you've been doing coke (which, by the way, I've never tried) and you run out, is moving on to candy necklaces really going to cut it? I think not. I was used to reading porn and I tried to switch to oceanic science. No part of me was having it. Especially not my libido.

Then, through the chatter on twitter I heard what I needed to hear.

Hanging my head, I visited my amazon account and added a new book to my kindle cloud. Reading the first page, it was like that itch I had been trying to scratch for weeks was finally soothed. I had given in, to smut. Glorified porn. And I liked it.

I'm not sure what's to come, hehehe, with my possible addiction. Will I be able to read non-trashy novels again? I can't answer that right now. Only time will tell. But I know, for the moment, I'm pleased to be reading something so, um, pleasurable.