It was a cold night many, many years ago. Our flight had just landed. We claimed our bags and waited inside the airport for our ride to pick us up. She was a good friend. Hatta and I had been there for her when she needed it and along the way we grew closer. However, there was always an unreliable undercurrent with her. She had disappointed us before and we had managed to overlook it. Every time, every letdown was met with an excuse. Every time, every excuse allowed us to put it in the past and stay friends. Until that snowy night when Hatta and I were left stranded at the airport. With no word from her and far too late in the evening to call anyone else, we took a $75 cab ride home. From that moment on, I recognized the type of person she was and vowed to never allow myself to be disappointed by her again.
"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou
It's important in life to recognize who a person is. You don't have to like it. You don't have to even be a part of it. But you need to believe it. For me, problems arise when a person shows who they are and I believe it's a rare instance, a one time occurrence, not examples of their true self. I want to see the good, and I convince myself anything less than is not real. I overlook the bad and allow myself to be hurt, disappointed, frustrated, all because I want to believe it will change.
As I grow and learn, it's become easier for me to acknowledge. Take my sisters for example. I love them dearly and they are both extremely unique and different from one another. In the past, I have struggled to maintain a consistent relationship with either. It's been hot and cold for the better part of my life. One minute we are best friends, the next not even speaking. Until I acknowledged who they are, I found myself a victim of disappointment again and again. Now, without surprise and minimal hurt I can say, "that's just her." And I'm quite sure they both say the same about me.
There is, however, a fine line between accepting what a person shows you and allowing yourself to be a doormat, to be taken advantage of, to be hurt with a promise of change. How do you know when to break ties and cut your loses like I did with my friend all those years ago? When is enough enough? When does a person's character become more damaging than, "Ha ha...that's John for ya!" When does the emotional cost of maintaining a friendship become too great? What does it ultimately take for you to believe what a person has been showing you all along?
These are the questions I find myself lying in bed at night thinking about. Wishing I had the ultimate answer.
Showing posts with label airplane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label airplane. Show all posts
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Night Time Adventures
I've been über busy recently. Allow me to fill you in on my goings-on.
Last night, I died my hair. I'm a brunette. I've always been a brunette. As much as I have wanted to color and highlight, growing up watching my mother and my two sisters change their hair color to match the phase of life they were in, I'm far too practical. I watched the expensive, money sucking cycle continue month after month, year after year with them and knew, until grey hair forced me to, I had better things to spend my money on. But last night, I chose a very pretty shade of blonde with soft, subtle pink highlights. Pink. I'm sure I will be the talk of the preschool parent association.
The night before, I watched my best friend's girlfriend train a yellow lab puppy. It seems the puppy is destined for hunting trial fame and fortunes. The girlfriend, being an obvious bad ass, killed a duck by clubbing it and ripping it's wing off. She procedded to wrap the wing in tape and throw it for the adorable, black nosed puppy in an attempt to teach it to fetch. Impressive, albeit a bit scary, to watch.
The night preceding that, I took a job on Air Force One. I can not disclose my duties, far too top secret. All I can say is I may or may not be serving the president and his staff refreshments. I was issued my assignment in the middle of the night with no time to prepare, having to quickly pack all my belongings into brand new charcoal colored luggage, say my farewells to dear, sweet Alice, and head off on my way.
As you may have guessed, all this busyness has been occurring while I was sleeping, in my dreams. Every night, while I'm supposed to be recuperating from an exhausting day taming my wild child and her tantrums, I'm off on another nighttime adventure. I don't know what all the randomness of my dreams mean, if you or someone you know is a dream interpreter, feel free to offer your two cents. I do hope tonight I can take the night off and just sleep.
Last night, I died my hair. I'm a brunette. I've always been a brunette. As much as I have wanted to color and highlight, growing up watching my mother and my two sisters change their hair color to match the phase of life they were in, I'm far too practical. I watched the expensive, money sucking cycle continue month after month, year after year with them and knew, until grey hair forced me to, I had better things to spend my money on. But last night, I chose a very pretty shade of blonde with soft, subtle pink highlights. Pink. I'm sure I will be the talk of the preschool parent association.
The night before, I watched my best friend's girlfriend train a yellow lab puppy. It seems the puppy is destined for hunting trial fame and fortunes. The girlfriend, being an obvious bad ass, killed a duck by clubbing it and ripping it's wing off. She procedded to wrap the wing in tape and throw it for the adorable, black nosed puppy in an attempt to teach it to fetch. Impressive, albeit a bit scary, to watch.
The night preceding that, I took a job on Air Force One. I can not disclose my duties, far too top secret. All I can say is I may or may not be serving the president and his staff refreshments. I was issued my assignment in the middle of the night with no time to prepare, having to quickly pack all my belongings into brand new charcoal colored luggage, say my farewells to dear, sweet Alice, and head off on my way.
As you may have guessed, all this busyness has been occurring while I was sleeping, in my dreams. Every night, while I'm supposed to be recuperating from an exhausting day taming my wild child and her tantrums, I'm off on another nighttime adventure. I don't know what all the randomness of my dreams mean, if you or someone you know is a dream interpreter, feel free to offer your two cents. I do hope tonight I can take the night off and just sleep.
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